Random Thoughts

Ok, so these aren't my random thoughts, I got this in an email. But some of these were pretty funny b/c they are true. Enjoy :)

* Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

* Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

* There is a great need for sarcasm font.

* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

* How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (This is Jeff!!!!)

* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

* Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent some guy from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

* What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

· MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

* Bad decisions make good story

* If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever had children, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

* Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem...

* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

* While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my money everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time....

* My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How in the world do I respond to that?

* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

* The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.